SESSION KEY NOTES

• Pray for your marriage

• Be intentional with your marriage

• Learn to forgive; don't pile up offences

• Thank your husband for being in your life

• Get a good night sleep - between 6 to 8 hours

• Incorporate daily walks into your routine 

• Meditate

• Have a bubble bath by YOURSELF

• Get dressed up/makeup/pedicure/manicure/facial

• Enjoy massage/Have a spa day

• Try a new hobby/learn a new skill

• Go on vacation - Girls’ trip

• Connect with a friend

• Connect with a faith community

• Eat Healthy

• Journal

Q: How can I achieve my dreams when it seems all odds are against me? Maybe my marriage, family, life happenings... For instance, I find myself sacrificing my dreams for my family, or my husband does not buy into my dream, or he has a different agenda or goal for me?

A: Know your dream for sure, be clear, map it out. Be open to your partner about it. Don’t make concessions on your dreams with people around you, people that don’t move you forward in life. Spend your resources and energy on things that count towards your dream.

Q: How do I remain a relevant career woman while being a wife and a mother?

A: Build a resource plan | Leverage the resources and support system around you to help you | One step at a time, acknowledge small wins | Prioritize and pick | Articulate your needs in a safe way to your partner | Be clear about your dreams and create boundaries, even with family

Q: How do you network to find mentors, without feeling like you are overstepping?

A: If you come to a mentor with an organized and thoughtful approach on what you need and would like to achieve, you are mostly welcomed. Do not make your ask an empty one. Make sure you are asking the right person that matches with what you seek. Do your research.

Q: What is the importance of linkedIn?

A: The importance of linkedIn to your career cannot be overemphasized. Clear out your linkedIn network if you feel you are weeding through things. Again, pay attention to the people you keep around you, even in your linkedIn network. Not being active on linkedIn is a deal breaker.

Q: How do I overcome the fear of negotiating as a female

A: Don’t use emotions in salary negotiations. Use data and facts. You should know what the going rate is in your field. Do the background research. Go off of many different resources and aggregate a range for yourself, with logical reasons, for your negotiation. Glassdoor is one place to start.

Q: How do I address being underpaid?

A: Before you address anything, be sure there is something to be addressed. Go through a calendar cycle before you decide you are not being paid well enough. If the feeling of being underpaid happens too often from one job to the other, maybe you are not asking the right questions at hiring. 

Q: How do you chart your career for leadership or management?

A: Express the desire of being in a leadership position to your manager; earn it with extra efforts towards the greater good without expecting anything in return. You serve to lead. Have a mentor who shows good leadership skills. Exhibit leadership behaviors: selflessness in a small way, sacrifices, etc. 

Q: What do you do as a woman in a position of authority with a reporting male subordinate that tends to undermine your authority?

A:  Remove your own bias before crying insubordination! Why do you think they are insubordinate because you are a woman?

Barring bias, you probably have not objectively defined the goals and expectations for the employee on the job, hence a free for all environment where insubordination can creep in.

There should be a set of defined behaviors, where consequences for exhibiting misaligned behavior, regardless of reason, are explicitly stated 

To be happy in my marriage, I need to...

• Communicate openly and honestly with my partner

• Prioritize self-care

• Cultivate interests/hobbies outside the relationship

• Show gratitude and appreciation

• Work together with my husband to solve problems

• Practice forgiveness

• Plan quality time together

"You have happiness in marriage, not because it just happens, but because you create it" ...Doug Armey